If I could start over.....

This week I have been reflecting. I have come to the conclusion this is a good and bad thing. Regret is a scary thing. Looking back sometimes makes me regret, but it also gives me hope that new things are coming. This week has been hard.I think some of it has to do with my past smacking me in the face in this last month. It was something I never would have expected, and something I definetely wasnt prepared to fight.I think the rest of it is because its my birthday on Friday. I'm never really a fan of my birthday for some reason. I feel like another year has come and gone and I have accomplished nothing. Another year has come and gone, and I have let down the one who created me.I know these are lies, but for some reason, I don't know how to accept that it is not true. My mind is conditioned to see the bad in me, and in others. I guess I can chalk it up to that awful sin nature. As I look back on my life I feel like there are so many things I would do different, but really would I if I was given the chance? I don't know why I think about it. I cant go back. I cant teleport like Hiro Nakumora and manipulate the past to get the future I have always wanted. One of my favorite songs has this lyric in it "Life's like an hour glass glued to the table, no one can find the rewind button now, so cradle your head your hands, and breath. just breath." How true is that? Oh, how I just need to breath. I can't start over. I can try to live the life I am called to live today, and that is all I can really do.